well Jesus Christ served up some loaves and fishes
  he turned water into wine and it was delicious
  he wore a lampshade on his head like a thorny crown
  yeah, Jesus Christ, he liked to party down
  he used to play hackysack and skinny dip in the creek
  he was a bearded robe and sandle wearing long haired Pagan freak

  well Jesus had a chalice called the Holy Graille
  he used wafers and wine for his cakes and ale
  he had a dozen brothers help to spread his lovin'
  Jesus makes thirteen, hmmm... sounds like a coven
  he had magickal powers and a certain mystique
  he was a bearded robe and sandle wearing long haired Pagan freak

  well Jesus went to the temple, they wuz stonin' some chick
  he said "if you never sinned, you can toss the first brick"
  well a rock come a'flyin', knocked him flat on his ass
  Jesus say "Mama, you're a barrel of laughs!"
  she nailed him again when he turned the other cheek
  he was a bearded robe and sandle wearing long haired Pagan freak

  well Mary Magdalene was a prostitute
  she say "I'll rub your feet if you take off your boots"
  Jesus said "Mary, do you think we're compatable?"
  Magdalena say "Jesus, you're a party animal!"
  he started speaking in tongues and she dug his technique
  he was a bearded robe and sandle wearing long haired Pagan freak

  well Pontious Pilate was a Roman pig
  Jesus gave him the message, but he just couldn't dig
  Jesus said "peace and love and blessed be!"
  Pilate said "nail that hippie's ass to a tree!"
  Jesus said "I guess this just ain't my week!"
  he was a bearded robe and sandle wearing long haired Pagan freak

  well they burried Jesus in a big old cave
  they used a gigantic boulder to seal up his grave
  Jesus woke up, he rolled away the stone
  all his friends come a'callin', Jesus wasn't at home
  the found him behind the rock, taking a leak
  he was a bearded robe and sandle wearing long haired Pagan freak

  well Jesus may be a god, but he isn't unique
  cause he's a bearded robe and sandle wearing long haired Pagan freak