(interspersed liberally with aw haw's,
  oh no's, aw right's, uh huh's and howls)

  Horn Dog was living alone
  no place to bury his bone
  Horn Dog, he liked to play
  get it on a dozen times a day
  he used to be with a rabid bitch
  but he threw her out for the shit she'd pitch
  always whinin' cause he was not rich
  had to find a new dog to scratch his itch

  Slut Puppy just split with her ex
  been a while since she had sex
  Slut Puppy was always in heat
  hungry dog looking for some meat
  yeah Slut Puppy was a horny hound
  used to have a mean dog that'd kick her around
  she sent his mangy ass back to the pound
  went to the bar, see what could be found

  Horn Dog went to the bar
  have a beer and play guitar
  Slut Puppy was hanging around
  sucking margarita's down
  Horn Dog answered to nature's call
  found Slut Puppy waiting in the bathroom stall
  she threw Horn Dog up against the wall
  pulled off his pants and they commenced to ball

  Horn Dog had horns like Pan
  Slut Puppy had a minivan
  parked the van in a cozy spot
  in the Burger King parking lot
  Slut Puppy reached for Horn Dog's whopper
  he said "have it your way", didn't try to stop her
  she said "extra pickle", he said "you're the boss"
  and he gave her a taste of his secret sauce
  all the customers getting food to go
  gave Horn Dog and Slut Pup a standing-O

  that's the way it will always be
  for Horn Dog and Slut Puppy
  you can pretty much bet those two
  keep on doing what canines do
  so if you happen to see a minivan park
  and a couple of dogs commence to bark
  and the vehicle's bouncing up and down
  and you hear the howlin' of humpin' hounds
  inside the van there's a puppy pile
  it's Horn Dog and Slut Puppy doing it doggy style