Freakently Asked Questions
How do I get there from here?The preferred way is by instant mental teleportation, but if you have not yet mutated into an overman or uberwoman, you will probably have to use a car. Here are driving directions. Why is teX-Day III being held the weekend BEFORE May 7th?The official date for teX-Day is May 7th. On this date, the world is scheduled for demolition. That was no problem for the first two teX-Day drills since it fell during a weekend. But this year the 7th falls on a Tuesday. If we held the devival the weekend AFTER May 7th and the Earth is destroyed, we'll owe everyone triple their money back for teX-Day tickets and we can't afford to pay that. Well, OK, maybe we COULD afford it, but we're too cheap to pay it. So we are holding the devival the weekend before. And if you do it right, you'll just be waking up on Tuesday the 7th when the saucers arrive. How do I get my self/band onstage at teX-Day?Buy tickets and show up with your instruments. In fact, this is what three quarters of the people at teX-Day do. Jam when and where you like, with a plethora of other musicians. How many musicians in a plethora? A shitload. Can I get my band listed on the teX-Day site?Yes. Buy a ticket and send us your band info. We'll link to your site and myspace account. You can even give us a banner to use. The main thing is, buy a ticket first. How do I/we get in for free?Oh come on now! Do you really think we would put information like that on the WEB PAGE? Do you think we want a zillion web surfing bobbies showing up here to have an excellent time without paying us anything? Don't be ridiculous. Or if you want to be ridiculous, at least do something ridiculously entertaining. Don't get us wrong. There are a plethora of ways to get free tickets to teX-Day. We just won't tell you what they all are. Here's a few we will tell you: (1) Be Ivan Stang. We always let the Sacred Scribe in for free. Hell, we even PAY him, EVEN WHEN HE DOESN'T SHOW UP! (2) Provide something ridiculously entertaining, unusual, or really expensive for the festival. Stuff like a 20 gigawatt laser spectacular or a 40 foot inflatable hemispherical night club. Show up with a dozen cases of REALLY GOOD BEER. Microbrewery stuff, not the cheap shit. (3) Sell a bunch of tickets. Hey, bottom line, this is what drives us. And why not? Bob is the master salesman, and so we want to sell tickets, damn it! If you think a bunch of your fans will show up at teX-Day and pay to see you, that's all well and good. Prove it by purchasing a 20 pack of tickets and selling them to your loyal groupies. We will give you enough discount so you'll end up getting yourselves in for free. Hell, we don't care if you scalp the tickets for more than face value and keep the change. Bob would be proud! How many ways to get in free in a plethora? More than those three, that's for sure. What should I bring to teX-Day?Perhaps you should ask "what can I afford to leave behind?". Imagine an eternity on intergalactic pleasure ships with only two of your three desert island disks. Not pretty, is it? So bring your favorite toys, musical instruments, art supplies, oddities and cosmic debris. In fact, like they say on the X-Day page, just bring weird shit. Even if you don't know what it's for. We'll think of something when you get here. Oh, and of course you might want to provide for your basic survival needs. Food, drinks, cigs, condoms, camping gear, etc. Probably a good idea to bring lots of cash in case you want to avail yourself of an excellent opportunity to stock up on genuine SubGenius DVD's, CD's, shirts, stickers, pamphlets and other priceless one of a kind items. Is teX-Day at a different place this year?The first teX-Day was held at High Rock Ranch in Red Rock Texas. The second teX-Day was also held at High Rock Ranch. This year, teX-Day will be held at Dr Agon'z Wylde Ranch in Red Rock Texas. So no, it's not at a different place. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?Well, it seems teX-Day has turned into a big success. And as you may know, teX-Day is sponsored by the Church of the SubGenius, Loke E. Coyote's Wiccabilly Circus and the Clutch of the Dragonfly. But for some reason, none of the hype for the first two events mentioned the Clutch of the Dragonfly. This made Dr Agon Fly very unhappy, and rightly so. After all, it was Dr Agon Fly who handed out thousands of teX-Day flyers. Not only that, but he only gave flyers to really hot artistic Connies, thus making sure we didn't end up with a big sausage party. Praise Dr Agon Fly! Anyway, in recognition of his tireless effort (like he'd really get tired of talking to hot artistic Connies), we decided to rename the ranch in his honor. We knew there'd be a bit of confusion on the name change, but what the fuck? We owed it to him. Well, actually we owed him money, but changing the ranch name was cheaper. Get it now? Which also brings up the point that if YOU bring lots of really hot artistic Connies to teX-Day, we'll do something special for you too! You might not get the place named after you, but you WILL become someone's short duration personal savior. Is it true a guy got ass raked last year?That's only partly true. In actuality, it was a plethora of both guys and girls who ALL GOT ASS RAKED during an alien sex mutant toy demonstration. None of them had any complaints. How many raked asses in a plethora? More than you've ever seen, that's for sure. Why aren't there any pictures from teX-Day II?It could be that the radiation from the intergalactic starships blanked the film and memory cards of everyone's cameras. It could be that nobody wants their picture taken while they're being ass raked. Most likely, everyone was too busy having a good time to take picures.
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